No one has gone to my garden recently since it's buried under six stories of rubble. I was heckled by a little energetic beast about it earlier, though, and he said you sent him that way.
Oh, did he find you so soon? That was faster than I expected...
[Admitting guilt without an apology?? His rudeness is showing.]
If it's any consolation, I didn't mean to send him your way, Charles. I was hoping he would fall into the river and waste his time by wandering around the old apartments long enough to get sick, or something similar. It's unfortunate that he found you personally, instead...
Of course he found me soon. There aren't many people wandering around here with blue roses, you know? [except Alois didn't even notice that part, but Charles doesn't know that...]
I don't think he even went looking for them, either way. He certainly didn't look like he had any accident with the river.
[he's going to need a whole new gold star at this rate]
Do you think? He just seemed as though he's in possession of a selectively short attention span to me. [ie DON'T WORRY FRIEND charles is entirely sure the opportunity will arise again...!]
Thank you for sparing me from that, either way. I'd have to pitch the both of you into the river if anything happened to those roses.
["Good job on not managing to prank Alois but getting away with sassing Charles"??]
He refused to believe most of the things I told him, even with evidence. Also, he was much more concerned with entertaining himself with childish pranks than hearing any warnings about this place... He seemed like a fool to me.
I hardly wish to bring any further harm to your garden, either. If you need to punish someone later, it won't be me.
[Because Kaoru won't let himself get caught, obviously.]
He's a brat, so that isn't surprising. [A CAREFUL ONE, THOUGH. he's keeping an eye on your shenanigans Kaoru... at least when they come to his garden, because it's not like he cares about much else.]
Good. It's an irritant, having to hunt people down for their moronic decisions.
[ALOIS IS THE BIGGEST BRAT and Kaoru will get him back. Somehow. Possibly while broadcasting it to Haven at large, because that's how you make/keep friends, right??]
Irritating, possibly, but I doubt you have much trouble actually finding anyone when you wish to, with your skills... At least there's the comfort of knowing they can't escape, don't you think?
[someone here needs to take lessons from sebastian on how to blend in with humans and it shockingly isn't charles for once.]
I wouldn't have any trouble tracking anyone down at all- [ISN'T THAT COMFORTING] -but it would still be an irritant. I have to put up with enough of those day to day that I'd very much like to avoid adding any fresh ones. Who wants to spend their time chasing after a bunch of brats?
[Wow, he totally could if he cared to!! It's Charles' fault for flaunting his inhumanity first, anyway.]
That would be a waste of time, I agree... Especially when one considers the wasted energy that you would have to expend on the search. It would be better for everyone to stay out of your way, wouldn't it?
[Is he faking that sympathy, or being serious? It's a mystery-- no, he's faking. Totally faking it, as usual.]
[it's just a thing that happens sometimes!! all the time... he doesn't even know how to pretend to be human anymore lbr]
Most. [there are a small number of people he doesn't mind, after all!! a true shocker... sure, it's like 3 out of a 200+ population, but still... it's better than the 3 out of an entire world population that he had going on back home.] Some more than others. The worst people to deal with aren't the little buzzing irritants, but the seemingly benign who stick to you like glue for years, so at least you didn't send anything like that my way. [IF HE ONLY KNEW.]
It's difficult to tell which kind is which until it's too late, hm? I've had similar run-ins, I'm afraid.
[Charles... That's a little sad. He's the baby of that family, how did that happen so fast?]
But I'll be sure to be more careful in who I send your way, purposefully or accidentally, in the future. I wouldn't want to force you to deal with an idiot like that.
[Look at that smile. Isn't he totally trustworthy??]
[shitty siblings!! they should commiserate someday.]
I always try to assume the worst. [mostly because it's almost always true in his case... for some reason he attracts nosy busybodies like some kind of hummingbird feeder.
ALSO NO, NOT TRUSTWORTHY. or rather, Charles is immediately distrustful when seemingly genuine phrasing like that is coupled with "I won't be annoying you!" sentiments... shitty siblings can be thanked for that one, too.]
...Good, because I do have quite a number of idiots on my plate already. I would have to send one of mine back to you if you were to give me a new one, and I know what headaches they can be. [DON'T MAKE HIM EXERCISE HIS ABILITY TO CURSE PEOPLE WITH CIEL.]
[Kaoru would just advise mass murder as a solution, so just make sure Solomon can't hear it. :')]
Did you make gather a collection of them, then? How unfortunate... Perhaps you should inflict them on each other. It would keep them busy for at least a while, don't you think?
[He keeps grinning, and it's obvious in his voice because I forgot we were on audio until just now. SADLY, Kaoru has not yet learned the fear of nuns with knives. He has no idea what he's in for, at that rate.]
Realism, I'd say. [as always!! even though he's also entirely aware of the fact that he maaay be a little more pessimistic than most. maybe. maybe!!
stop that Kaoru and don't you ever talk to his stupid brother, gosh.]
Oh, you say that as though they don't already voluntarily fling themselves at each other. The worst of them always seem to have time to bother more people, though.
[He'd still be on Charles' side because Solomon is too much like Souji sometimes, don't worry about it!!]
Don't they run out of energy or space in their memory at some point...? I would hope their enthusiasm would lend them to be forgetful and flighty, at least.
[oh good... GOOD... no one wants to deal with a buttmad jealous charles
also there is just dead silence for a second. if this sweet summer child only knew.]
The worst offender has one of the most solid, all-encompassing memories that I've ever known. Down to the very last detail, she could recall something that happened years ago if it was to her benefit. [dead tone to match his dead silence HE'S BEEN MOTHERHENNED TO DEATH AND BACK. he knows these woes so well...] And running out of energy? One would have better luck hoping that a hole is blasted through the side of this barrier.
[But what if we totally do, hypothetically Just wondering.]
Oh. That does seem rather tiresome, when you say it like that. Is she the type to hold a grudge?
[Because oh boy, does that sound familiar. Almost like how someone who hated Kaoru might describe him, even, but with a lot less mentions of psychosis!]
Are there no other deterrents that you could use? You're hardly the type to shy away from physical means, if needed, Charles.
[Just kill them enough to scare them away, it's so obvious.]
No, she isn't, thankfully. ["thankfully". IT'S THE SAME EVEN WITHOUT GRUDGES BECAUSE OF HER DANG ELEPHANT MEMORY... but he does agree with her when she says he's the one who holds enough grudges for both of them.
and then, even though he HATES MENTIONING THIS:] You say that as though it wasn't one of the first things that I tried.
[It would be a horribly beautiful plot twist. Kaoru would never see it coming.]
I was hoping you hadn't, and that would be a viable alternative now. But it seems like this particular idiot is worse than a starving dog with a bone, and even that won't run her off. How disgusting.
[The mental image of a wolf in a nun's habit just won't seem to leave, after that comment.]
[the crazy stalker becoming the crazy stalkee... charles with his face pressed up against the window at 3am holding his bleeding heart like DON'T YOU DARE LIKE MY BROTHER MOOOOORE]
It's an absolute pain, I can tell you that much. Even leaving the last world and coming to this one wasn't enough to shake her; she showed up a few weeks later. [life is tragic when you are charles and you've gotten stuck with a perpetual ciel.]
[THIS ISN'T THE LIFE HE WANTED. Will it fix everything if he just finds a dark hole to stick Solomon in for the next decade or so?? 'Cause that seems the easiest route.]
You've been traveling to different worlds with a nun? One of the Christian devout, yes?
[He puts a hand over his mouth, only partially smothering a laugh.]
Forgive me, but it's hard to imagine she didn't try to kill you long ago, considering their zeal and your inhumanity, Charles.
[probably... IN THE END, CHARLES IS EASILY PLACATED.
omg though don't laugh at him, his life is sad and terrible and filled with meddlenuns anD PEOPLE SHOULD ONLY FEEL SYMPATHY!! even if he'd totally laugh if he was outside of his own situation, too.]
She's always been unbearably pleasant, actually, even though she's essentially contracted to kill creatures like me in her own world. [unorthodox friendships...] But she's not exactly your stereotypical nun. The only time she genuinely sought my head, it wasn't attached firmly to my shoulders, anyway.
[ie it was for his own good since he was off his dang rocker WHOOPS]
[Charles "Hypocrite and Nun-Chased" Fei-ong. That's not going to do anything to make Kaoru stop smirking, but at least that's no visible and the laughter is now under control.
The "contract non-human killer" thing, on the other hand, does that job pretty damn well.]
Really! I wasn't expecting her to be something like that... And yet, she doesn't want you dead? She must be terribly fond of you, in that case. What was it that forced her hand, anyway?
[RUDE AS HELL. but yes welcome to the life of the mythical vampire, where entire organizations are dedicated solely to your eradication and they all have the power of an actual weapons bunker... he's up for trading!!]
Mmmhm, there were actually a few of them around for a while. Hunters are tedious, though; if one of them had to stick around, I suppose it isn't so unfortunate that the most interesting one did. [GETS TSUN EVERYWHERE] She's the sort who doesn't enjoy killing, I believe. I don't think she wants anything dead, either. [duty-bound nuns and all.
at the last question, without a pause:] Something happened and I tried to kill a lot of people. A lot, a lot... [A WHOLE LOT.] So she fought me until I didn't have the energy to anymore.
[then he just sulked off into the night and ate a pie instead, basically.]
[Hand-weighing motions.... EHHH NOT REALLY FEELING THE HUMAN TORPEDOES.]
That's a strange profession for a pacifist, isn't it? Especially one of the religious sort... I thought one of their tenants was "do no harm", or something like that.
[JUDGING YOU, CHARLES, and your creepy masochistic taste in friends. He also isn't really sure that Charles is seeing things entirely clearly, if he's buddy buddy with dangerous people like that. (Pot, kettle, etcetera.)]
But I won't deny that she seems interesting, if only for her ability to keep up with you alone...
Ah, well, I wouldn't call her a pacifist either. Just because she doesn't take pleasure in ending a life and may try avoiding it when possible, that certainly doesn't mean she shies away from it if necessary. Pragmatic... A pragmatic person who wants to be an optimist, is what I'd call her. [go away Kaoru stop judging his perfectly legit friends!! but at least he's right in guessing he isn't seeing things clearly even if that's more in a generally speaking sort of "wow Charles stop making bad decisions" way...]
To be honest, I don't think she's very religious, either. You ought to meet her someday. [A GREAT IDEA.....
he's just going to drag everyone down into a festering pit of dangerous friends.]
A pragmatic person who's trying to be optimistic? That sounds like she's missing the point of how optimism works, honestly... But I wouldn't be opposed to meeting her, if you think she's safe enough.
[He'll just make sure to bring a sword and be prepped to run like hell if Ciel turns out to be even more crazy and violent than Charles.]
I think she's just too old for it, to be honest. [too old for optimism...... the only old person here is Charles, wow. double wow, even!! he is totally sane and only violent when necessary okay. it's just that his definition of "necessary" differs hugely from most others...!]
Safe enough? I wouldn't say that she's too dangerous, but there is the nagging to watch out for. Just try not to catch her interest too much and you ought to be fine. [what great advice]
I don't know about that. [which he almost sounds a little bitter about... because he is a little bitter about it... life is hard when you're surrounded by unchanging asshats!!]
Ah, that might work, anyway. ...Or it might just make her wonder why you're avoiding contact. I honestly don't know what to expect with her half of the time. [the way of the Ciel is a mystery to him even now...] Either way, if you ever feel like meeting her, you could just stop by the church with me.
wouldn't that be funny though JUST KAORU AND CIEL... all alone. stuck together in a church while Charles hightails it out cackling wildly because she'll have someone else to focus on for once. bUT NO he actually doesn't mind Kaoru and wouldn't subject him to that just yet.]
In some respects, certainly. In this one in particular, yes. It should go well enough as long as she's not in a bizarre mood or something. [he's making her sound like a maniac... he's going to be shocked at how relatively benign and normal she is]
[Christ, Charles, you are like the absolute worst friend. Don't leave him with a monster-fighting nun, she'll sniff out his crazy without someone more obviously dangerous there to throw her off!!]
With the way you talk about her, I'll really have to be on my guard, Charles. In either case, you'll have to do the arrangements, as I don't know her name or face. Will that be fine with you?
[like she won't be able to sniff out his crazy eventually, anyway!! just being acquaintances with Charles is like a big flashing neon sign that says "something is probably wrong with me".]
It would do you good, that. [GOOD LUCK AND GODSPEED, basically.] But yes, that's perfectly fine. The next time you've nothing to do, give me a bell and I'll tell her that we're coming for a visit.
[Because gosh, how can a polite young man (or lady, depending on how he's dressed at the time) come off crazy when next to Mr. Charles "murder everything and drink their blood" Fei-Ong??]
And I'll look forward to it. Until then, Charles... And I hope your garden stays safe in the meantime.
[With a snicker, he clicks the phone shut and ends the call.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
i couldn't help it..... audio, evening of arrival day!
it's okay, I'm still laughing... audio forever!!
[Lie. That is a total lie, and the almost-laughter in his tone gives that away so easily.]
good my job is done
No one has gone to my garden recently since it's buried under six stories of rubble. I was heckled by a little energetic beast about it earlier, though, and he said you sent him that way.
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Oh, did he find you so soon? That was faster than I expected...
[Admitting guilt without an apology?? His rudeness is showing.]
If it's any consolation, I didn't mean to send him your way, Charles. I was hoping he would fall into the river and waste his time by wandering around the old apartments long enough to get sick, or something similar. It's unfortunate that he found you personally, instead...
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Of course he found me soon. There aren't many people wandering around here with blue roses, you know? [except Alois didn't even notice that part, but Charles doesn't know that...]
I don't think he even went looking for them, either way. He certainly didn't look like he had any accident with the river.
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He seemed the type to miss even the most obvious clues, if it didn't suit him, actually...
[He sighs, slightly disappointed that his assumption wasn't proven right.]
Ah, well. I'll have to try harder next time to make up for it. And of course, I'll make sure to direct him away from you, when I do.
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Do you think? He just seemed as though he's in possession of a selectively short attention span to me. [ie DON'T WORRY FRIEND charles is entirely sure the opportunity will arise again...!]
Thank you for sparing me from that, either way. I'd have to pitch the both of you into the river if anything happened to those roses.
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He refused to believe most of the things I told him, even with evidence. Also, he was much more concerned with entertaining himself with childish pranks than hearing any warnings about this place... He seemed like a fool to me.
I hardly wish to bring any further harm to your garden, either. If you need to punish someone later, it won't be me.
[Because Kaoru won't let himself get caught, obviously.]
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He's a brat, so that isn't surprising. [A CAREFUL ONE, THOUGH. he's keeping an eye on your shenanigans Kaoru... at least when they come to his garden, because it's not like he cares about much else.]
Good. It's an irritant, having to hunt people down for their moronic decisions.
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[ALOIS IS THE BIGGEST BRAT and Kaoru will get him back. Somehow. Possibly while broadcasting it to Haven at large, because that's how you make/keep friends, right??]
Irritating, possibly, but I doubt you have much trouble actually finding anyone when you wish to, with your skills... At least there's the comfort of knowing they can't escape, don't you think?
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I wouldn't have any trouble tracking anyone down at all- [ISN'T THAT COMFORTING] -but it would still be an irritant. I have to put up with enough of those day to day that I'd very much like to avoid adding any fresh ones. Who wants to spend their time chasing after a bunch of brats?
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That would be a waste of time, I agree... Especially when one considers the wasted energy that you would have to expend on the search. It would be better for everyone to stay out of your way, wouldn't it?
[Is he faking that sympathy, or being serious? It's a mystery-- no, he's faking. Totally faking it, as usual.]
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Most. [there are a small number of people he doesn't mind, after all!! a true shocker... sure, it's like 3 out of a 200+ population, but still... it's better than the 3 out of an entire world population that he had going on back home.] Some more than others. The worst people to deal with aren't the little buzzing irritants, but the seemingly benign who stick to you like glue for years, so at least you didn't send anything like that my way. [IF HE ONLY KNEW.]
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[Charles... That's a little sad. He's the baby of that family, how did that happen so fast?]
But I'll be sure to be more careful in who I send your way, purposefully or accidentally, in the future. I wouldn't want to force you to deal with an idiot like that.
[Look at that smile. Isn't he totally trustworthy??]
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I always try to assume the worst. [mostly because it's almost always true in his case... for some reason he attracts nosy busybodies like some kind of hummingbird feeder.
ALSO NO, NOT TRUSTWORTHY. or rather, Charles is immediately distrustful when seemingly genuine phrasing like that is coupled with "I won't be annoying you!" sentiments... shitty siblings can be thanked for that one, too.]
...Good, because I do have quite a number of idiots on my plate already. I would have to send one of mine back to you if you were to give me a new one, and I know what headaches they can be. [DON'T MAKE HIM EXERCISE HIS ABILITY TO CURSE PEOPLE WITH CIEL.]
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[Kaoru would just advise mass murder as a solution, so just make sure Solomon can't hear it. :')]
Did you make gather a collection of them, then? How unfortunate... Perhaps you should inflict them on each other. It would keep them busy for at least a while, don't you think?
[He keeps grinning, and it's obvious in his voice
because I forgot we were on audio until just now. SADLY, Kaoru has not yet learned the fear of nuns with knives. He has no idea what he's in for, at that rate.]no subject
stop that Kaoru and don't you ever talk to his stupid brother, gosh.]
Oh, you say that as though they don't already voluntarily fling themselves at each other. The worst of them always seem to have time to bother more people, though.
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Don't they run out of energy or space in their memory at some point...? I would hope their enthusiasm would lend them to be forgetful and flighty, at least.
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also there is just dead silence for a second. if this sweet summer child only knew.]
The worst offender has one of the most solid, all-encompassing memories that I've ever known. Down to the very last detail, she could recall something that happened years ago if it was to her benefit. [dead tone to match his dead silence HE'S BEEN MOTHERHENNED TO DEATH AND BACK. he knows these woes so well...] And running out of energy? One would have better luck hoping that a hole is blasted through the side of this barrier.
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Oh. That does seem rather tiresome, when you say it like that. Is she the type to hold a grudge?
[Because oh boy, does that sound familiar. Almost like how someone who hated Kaoru might describe him, even, but with a lot less mentions of psychosis!]
Are there no other deterrents that you could use? You're hardly the type to shy away from physical means, if needed, Charles.
[Just kill them enough to scare them away, it's so obvious.]
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No, she isn't, thankfully. ["thankfully". IT'S THE SAME EVEN WITHOUT GRUDGES BECAUSE OF HER DANG ELEPHANT MEMORY... but he does agree with her when she says he's the one who holds enough grudges for both of them.
and then, even though he HATES MENTIONING THIS:] You say that as though it wasn't one of the first things that I tried.
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I was hoping you hadn't, and that would be a viable alternative now. But it seems like this particular idiot is worse than a starving dog with a bone, and even that won't run her off. How disgusting.
[The mental image of a wolf in a nun's habit just won't seem to leave, after that comment.]
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It's an absolute pain, I can tell you that much. Even leaving the last world and coming to this one wasn't enough to shake her; she showed up a few weeks later. [life is tragic when you are charles and you've gotten stuck with a perpetual ciel.]
Being tailed by a stubborn nun is the worst.
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You've been traveling to different worlds with a nun? One of the Christian devout, yes?
[He puts a hand over his mouth, only partially smothering a laugh.]
Forgive me, but it's hard to imagine she didn't try to kill you long ago, considering their zeal and your inhumanity, Charles.
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omg though don't laugh at him, his life is sad and terrible and filled with meddlenuns anD PEOPLE SHOULD ONLY FEEL SYMPATHY!! even if he'd totally laugh if he was outside of his own situation, too.]
She's always been unbearably pleasant, actually, even though she's essentially contracted to kill creatures like me in her own world. [unorthodox friendships...] But she's not exactly your stereotypical nun. The only time she genuinely sought my head, it wasn't attached firmly to my shoulders, anyway.
[ie it was for his own good since he was off his dang rocker WHOOPS]
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The "contract non-human killer" thing, on the other hand, does that job pretty damn well.]
Really! I wasn't expecting her to be something like that... And yet, she doesn't want you dead? She must be terribly fond of you, in that case. What was it that forced her hand, anyway?
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Mmmhm, there were actually a few of them around for a while. Hunters are tedious, though; if one of them had to stick around, I suppose it isn't so unfortunate that the most interesting one did. [GETS TSUN EVERYWHERE] She's the sort who doesn't enjoy killing, I believe. I don't think she wants anything dead, either. [duty-bound nuns and all.
at the last question, without a pause:] Something happened and I tried to kill a lot of people. A lot, a lot... [A WHOLE LOT.] So she fought me until I didn't have the energy to anymore.
[then he just sulked off into the night and ate a pie instead, basically.]
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That's a strange profession for a pacifist, isn't it? Especially one of the religious sort... I thought one of their tenants was "do no harm", or something like that.
[JUDGING YOU, CHARLES, and your creepy masochistic taste in friends. He also isn't really sure that Charles is seeing things entirely clearly, if he's buddy buddy with dangerous people like that. (Pot, kettle, etcetera.)]
But I won't deny that she seems interesting, if only for her ability to keep up with you alone...
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Ah, well, I wouldn't call her a pacifist either. Just because she doesn't take pleasure in ending a life and may try avoiding it when possible, that certainly doesn't mean she shies away from it if necessary. Pragmatic... A pragmatic person who wants to be an optimist, is what I'd call her. [go away Kaoru stop judging his perfectly legit friends!! but at least he's right in guessing he isn't seeing things clearly even if that's more in a generally speaking sort of "wow Charles stop making bad decisions" way...]
To be honest, I don't think she's very religious, either. You ought to meet her someday. [A GREAT IDEA.....
he's just going to drag everyone down into a festering pit of dangerous friends.]
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A pragmatic person who's trying to be optimistic? That sounds like she's missing the point of how optimism works, honestly... But I wouldn't be opposed to meeting her, if you think she's safe enough.
[He'll just make sure to bring a sword and be prepped to run like hell if Ciel turns out to be even more crazy and violent than Charles.]
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I think she's just too old for it, to be honest. [too old for optimism...... the only old person here is Charles, wow. double wow, even!! he is totally sane and only violent when necessary okay. it's just that his definition of "necessary" differs hugely from most others...!]
Safe enough? I wouldn't say that she's too dangerous, but there is the nagging to watch out for. Just try not to catch her interest too much and you ought to be fine. [what great advice]
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If optimism was something you could grow out of, we would have significantly less idealistic idiots in the world.
[Like, say, twin sisters who don't see why genocide is an A+ plan, or tiny not-vamps who hang out with exorcists for some reason!!]
But I will do my best to be as boring as I can be, either way.
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It's just because most people don't live long enough to grow out of it. [he is an Expert on these things... don't lump him into that category gosh!!]
Good luck, anyway. She sometimes has a sixth sense for knowing who's a good target.
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Livespans longer than a few decades are the exception rather than the rule, Charles. Anyone would change, given long enough.
[He laughs, quiet and short.]
Perhaps I should contact her through the phones, instead of in person, then. Just to be safe.
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I don't know about that. [which he almost sounds a little bitter about... because he is a little bitter about it... life is hard when you're surrounded by unchanging asshats!!]
Ah, that might work, anyway. ...Or it might just make her wonder why you're avoiding contact. I honestly don't know what to expect with her half of the time. [the way of the Ciel is a mystery to him even now...] Either way, if you ever feel like meeting her, you could just stop by the church with me.
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Having you to vouch for me would probably be for the best, then. She does trust you that much, after all... Doesn't she?
[Please don't lead him into murderchurch and then leave him, Charles.]
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wouldn't that be funny though JUST KAORU AND CIEL... all alone. stuck together in a church while Charles hightails it out cackling wildly because she'll have someone else to focus on for once. bUT NO he actually doesn't mind Kaoru and wouldn't subject him to that just yet.]
In some respects, certainly. In this one in particular, yes. It should go well enough as long as she's not in a bizarre mood or something. [he's making her sound like a maniac... he's going to be shocked at how relatively benign and normal she is]
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With the way you talk about her, I'll really have to be on my guard, Charles. In either case, you'll have to do the arrangements, as I don't know her name or face. Will that be fine with you?
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It would do you good, that. [GOOD LUCK AND GODSPEED, basically.] But yes, that's perfectly fine. The next time you've nothing to do, give me a bell and I'll tell her that we're coming for a visit.
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[Because gosh, how can a polite young man (or lady, depending on how he's dressed at the time) come off crazy when next to Mr. Charles "murder everything and drink their blood" Fei-Ong??]
And I'll look forward to it. Until then, Charles... And I hope your garden stays safe in the meantime.
[With a snicker, he clicks the phone shut and ends the call.]